Gone Forever
by Touch of the Wind
Summary: Angel did the spell to give Connor a normal life, but if he knew where Connor ended up maybe he would have thought twice. Character Death. Slash.


**Title:** Gone Forever

**Author:** Touch of the Wind

**Disclaimer:** If you recognize it, I don't own it! If I did, I probably wouldn't be writing fanfiction. The song used is 'Gone Forever by Three Days Grace.

**Summary:** Angel did the spell to give Connor a normal life, but if he knew where Connor ended up maybe he would have thought twice.

**Pairing:** Wyatt/Connor

**Warnings:** **SLASH!!!!!!** If you don't like it, don't read it. **VERY DARK!!! Suicide!!! Character Death!!!**

**A/N:** Set in the unchanged future for Charmed, and after Angel Season 5.

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Connor hurriedly grabbed his duffle from the car, and slammed the trunk shut and hobbled his way over to the Motel room he had paid for. Opening the door, he moved inside while flipping the light on and tossed his duffle onto the hard bed which was covered in a dingy worn flowered bed spread. He then pulled the table from underneath the window in front of the door and then closed the pink curtains over the only window.

Sighing, Connor seemed to fall in on himself, a look of weariness surrounded the 20 year old and maturity beyond his years shone from his blue eyes. His once tanned skin was pale and he had lost weight, his clothes were torn and dirty and hung from his small frame, he had bruises on his wrists, neck and face though one could tell there were others on his body.

Connor lowered himself carefully on to the bed, wrapping one arm around his ribs as he did so, hissing as burning pain ran through his torso. He then laid himself back while pushing his duffle off the bed and laid there staring at the ceiling. Slowly tears began to fall from his eyes and silent sobs wracked his frame. The walls seemed to show pictures, Connor being pushed playfully into a wall and his lips captured in a sweet loving kiss, Connor smiling at the figure in the shower and yelling when water was splashed on his pale skin.

_Don't know what's going on  
Don't know what went wrong  
Feels like a hundred years I  
Still can't believe you're gone  
So I'll stay up all night  
With these bloodshot eyes  
While these walls surround me with the story of our life_

An hour later Connor lay silently, his eyes fixed to the ceiling. He wondered how it could have all gone wrong so quickly. It seemed like just yesterday they were running around in the back garden while looking at one another with love in their eyes.

Those eyes that were so full of love were now gone, they were filled with hate, darkness and lust. Connor was in love with Wyatt Halliwell, the evil overlord of America, and he was quickly conquering other continents. At first, Connor had stood beside Wyatt but when a spell went wrong all his memories as Connor Angel rushed forward and he knew that he could no longer be with Wyatt.

For a while, Connor waited and bided his time, hoping to be able to sneak away when Wyatt was gone or on one of his own missions that Wyatt would insist he do. However, every time Connor tried to leave he couldn't. His thoughts would change and deep down Connor began to wonder if he would ever be able to leave Wyatt. Because the truth was he had no-one.

When Angel did the spell for a new life, Connor was given one, as a child in the foster system and he ended up meeting Wyatt. His 'parents' were dead and the Halliwell's, except for Chris, were dead, he had no friends who were truly his friends and he didn't know what had happened to Angel and the L.A. gang. He assumed they either died or went into hiding. Wyatt had killed the senior partners and began to build his own empire.

Wyatt Matthew Halliwell had even gone up against Buffy Anne Summers and the oldest living Slayer died for the last time. He threw enough magic at her to decimate her body making any attempt to bring her back useless because her soul would have no where to return. This was the thing that had made Connor leave. And he felt so much better. He didn't miss Wyatt, he really didn't.__

I feel so much better  
Now that you're gone forever  
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all  
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now  
That you're gone forever

Over the few months after Connor left, things became clearer…it was like a fog had lifted from his thoughts and he was able to see things for what they really were. He felt the pain at what the world had become under Wyatt's harsh rule. Connor felt the pain of the people he had killed for Wyatt. He felt the pain for his father who had hoped he would have a better life. Connor felt raw inside…so much pain, anger, hurt and damage inflicted by himself and others on his fragile soul.

Connor did not need Wyatt anymore…however, everywhere Connor turned there were reminders about Wyatt and Connor would go to a bar and drink until someone started a fight with him. Connor would wipe the floor with the asshole and exit the bar, often not alone, and try and forget the life Wyatt had given him as someone took him roughly behind the bar or in the backseat of his car.

Connor slowly became a shell of himself because he knew it was only a matter of time before Wyatt found him. He knew Wyatt would find him and while a part of him wanted Wyatt, a larger part screamed at him to run even farther hoping to outrun the most powerful man on earth.__

Now things are coming clear  
And I don't need you here  
And in this world around me  
I'm glad you disappeared  
So I'll stay out all night  
Get drunk and fucking fight  
Until the morning comes I'll  
Forget about our life

I feel so much better  
Now that you're gone forever  
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all  
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now  
That you're gone forever  


After a while Connor had begun to notice some discrepancies in his memories and began to realise that not only Wolfram and Hart had messed with them but his own lover had. It seemed that Wyatt used his powers to 'erase' Connor's memories of times that would have made him leave straight away.

Like the first time Wyatt screamed at Connor when he had let an innocent go when Wyatt had told Connor to kill them. Connor had cried from all the things Wyatt had said, and it took a lot for Connor to cry. Wyatt had listed everything he hated about Connor but had ended with 'At least you're good in bed!' and had sent the blue-eyed man to their bed chambers to wait till Wyatt came. That night Wyatt cast the first spell of many on Connor's memories and they had made sweet, tender love and Wyatt had whispered sweet nothings in Connor's ear and right before Connor drifted to sleep Wyatt whispered 'I'm sorry' into his ear before kissing his neck and gathering Connor close.

_  
First time you screamed at me  
I should have made you leave  
I should have known it could be so much better  
I hope you're missing me  
I hope I've made you see  
That I'm gone forever_

Connor's blue eyes took in the Motel room, the faded and mouldy walls and the threadbare carpet, and he knew in his heart that he could never outrun Wyatt and he did not want to become Wyatt's again- if Wyatt managed to bring forth the Destroyer then all would fall under their combined wrath and the world would tremble underneath their feet.

With shaking limbs Connor climbed from the bed and reached for his duffle and pulled out a small bottle of pain killers and walking into the bathroom he emptied the bottle into his hand and ran the tap and as tears ran down his face Connor put the pills into his mouth and swallowed them down with some water. Looking into the mirror Connor looked over himself and let out a sob as his blue eyes took in what he had become. With shaking hands his turned off the water and shuffled from the room and climbed onto the bed, beginning to feel drowsy.

Lying down, Connor sighed and closed his blue eyes for the last time; in the silence of the room Connor's whisper seemed very loud. The words uttered were clear in their meaning, showing sorrow, regret and acceptance.

"See you in Hell, Wyatt," and over the next few hours Connor's breathing stopped and the room was silent and the air heavy with death.__

And now it's coming clear  
That I don't need you here  
And in this world around me  
I'm glad you disappeared

Wyatt stood outside the Motel that Connor was staying in, according to his sources, and his ice blue eyes looked over the area disgusted at what Connor was staying in, however, Connor would soon be home where he belonged.

Wyatt motioned for his guards to break the door down and with a bang the door was pulled from its hinges and thrown across the parking lot. Wyatt strode into the room, stopping once his eyes rested on the still form on the bed. Ice filled his already cold heart and Wyatt could feel the cold spread throughout his body and his limbs begin to feel heavy and numb.

"Lord Wyatt?" one of the guards spoke up and Wyatt breathed in, not sure when he had stopped, and half turned to face the guard but never taking his eyes away from the bed.

"Get out," Wyatt whispered to the guards.

"My Lord?" another guard questioned.

"**GET OUT!!!**" Wyatt thundered, his voice deepening and lightening crashed over the rapidly darkening sky.

The guards dashed from the room and used magic to block off the door to give Wyatt some much needed privacy. As soon as the barrier went up, Wyatt dropped all pretences and moved over to the bed, his heart breaking.

"Connor," Wyatt sobbed, his voice broken from the sadness that began to overwhelm him. When Connor had left, Wyatt thought Connor was rebelling for a bit and once Wyatt tracked him down they would return home and after a while Connor would settle back down.

"Baby, I am sorry, so sorry," Wyatt muttered as one hand came over to stroke Connor's brown hair and Wyatt's face was pressed into the bedspread that was getting damp as tears came from Wyatt.

"So sorry, Baby," Wyatt muttered and moved up to kiss Connor's forehead, "never meant to hurt you."

Wyatt then moved down and kissed Connor's cold, unresponsive lips shakily and tears dripped onto Connor's still face. His eyes closed and face blank and Wyatt knew in that moment that despite Connor's heritage he was more of an angel than Wyatt had ever and ever could be.

"Save me a seat," Wyatt whispered and gathering Connor into his arms, he orbed away.__

I feel so much better  
Now that you're gone forever  
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all  
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now  
That you're gone forever  
And now you're gone forever  
And now you're gone forever

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The line 'Save me a seat' many of you will recognise from Buffy Season 2 on the final episode, I just had to use it. I claim no right to this line.


End file.
